The Pot Calling the Kettle Black

Today was the day. I "dropped the bomb" on Dave, a.k.a. my boss and my mom's boyfriend. I told him of my plans to move to Denver and get a new job.

"I feel like you are abandoning us," he says.

Hmmm... I must say, I do not see this as abandonment. I see this is an opportunity for me to get out there and live on my own. Besides, it's not like I am moving to China. I have always been there for him when he needs me, and I will continue to do so, to an extent.

To be honest, I am glad that this is finally out in the open. I am even happier that he didn't fire me on the spot. As most of you know, Dave has a knack for going off the deep end sometimes.

In related news, the whole job search is still in action. My lovely, talented, amazing friend has helped me prepare a resume, and I am in the midst of applying for a job. I am not quite sure what I will do if this doesn't work out, but I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

I think I need to sit down sometime soon, and make myself a little timeline with several different scenarios. Kinda like one of those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books. If there is a time that planning, organization, and flexibility is essential, it's now.

On a side note, one of my good friends called me a hypocrite this afternoon. Apparently, since I have smoked pot about 9 or 10 times in the past two and a half years, I am not allowed to criticize her boyfriend for smoking pot. I have spent $25 on pot in my entire life. Her boyfriend spent $100 on pot this week. I can see where there is a similarity between us, and where that makes me a hypocrite.

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Butter

Every Thursday night, I go to Tracks.

Every Thursday night, after Tracks, I go to the Denver Diner.

Every Thursday night, at the Denver Diner, I order French Toast (with no butter).

Every Thursday night, I get 15 lbs. of butter with my French Toast.

Makes me angry.

Fire Safety

Fire safety is a big deal, kids! In the instance of candles, make sure the candle is structurally sound, isolated, and NEVER left alone. This is what happens if the aforementioned rules are not abided by:


The saddest part: The wax ate my favorite pen.

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The World According to Nic...

According to Nic, it is bad for homos to drink Fiji water. He calls it homo-killing water. Why, you ask? I have no fucking clue. Ask him. In the meantime, I am going to continue enjoying my Fiji water.


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Life, Love, and Cigarettes

"Things do not change; we change." -Henry David Thoreau

One year ago I was [barely] graduating from high school. I was working at Linens N Things, and pretty much hated it. I had started to disconnect with my Denver friends. When it all boiled down though, I was happy.

One year later, I have [barely] finished my first semester of college. I work for my mom's boyfriend, and I am not sure how I feel about it. I have made new Denver friend, and reconnected with some old ones. I'm still happy.

So much for change.

The truth is, some things never change. One of those things is my attitude. For the most part, I am a very positive person. I like to look at the bright side, and try not to worry or let things bring me down. There will always be shitty jobs. Friendships will fade, and new friendships will grow.

On the other hand, I have changed. As each day passes, I learn more about life, love, and most of all, myself. Over the past few years, I have learned that I am valuable. I have learned that I don't have to deal with people's shit. I don't need people in my life that bring me down and treat me poorly. I still have a lot to learn though.

Someone once told me that you must love yourself to be able to love someone else. For the longest time, I relied on others to make me feel good about myself. Or left it to others to make me feel bad about myself. To an extent I still do it today; if I am denied by someone, I start to wonder what is wrong with me.

The point of all of this is a new start. I am going to start living for myself. Not worry about what other people think. Not be afraid to express how I feel and what I think. Not waste my time with boys that can't appreciate what I have to offer.

I'm sure you may be wondering what cigarettes have to do with anything. Well, Kids, I have decided to quit smoking. There are many things motivating me, but most of all, I just don't feel good. I started this little journey of mine last week. I have managed to cut back from a pack a day to half a pack a day. Soon I will be at five or fewer cigarettes a day. I hope to have fully quit by July 1st. Wish me luck!

♥

Hey Gurl!

In Other News...

It's official. Mr. StraightQueer has crossed over to the Dark Side. He took his shirt off at the club. See for your self.











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iheartkaiserro11

Well, KaiserRo11 has accepted my "Friend Invitation" on YouTube. Not only that, but he left me this little gem right here:

YOUR NAME IS AMAZING!! Thanks a million for adding me as a friend! You rock my world; and thanks for watching! Wow, this made my day- thanks again!

He's so in love with me.

♥

Welcome to YouTube

I decided that is was time for me to register as a member on YouTube.

I did this for two reasons:

1. Paytotheorderofofof has returned to YouTube, but she has made her videos "Friends Only". This means that I had to register, and add her as a friend if I want to see her videos.

2. I have to be friends with kaiserro11 to leave comments, and I have to register to be friends with him. Now I can leave comments for kaiserro11. If he adds me, of course.

My user name is iheartkaiserro11. Now all you YouTube members can add me.

♥

The Saga Continues

So, my boss has decided to stay out of town a bit longer. He'll be sending my paycheck via my mom. I was asked to send him my hours, so he could write me a check.

IkeaBoy (05:22 PM) :
Eric: $263.50
IkeaBoy (05:23 PM) :
Do you think you could write my check for like $400? I have to pay rent this week, and my paycheck won't include 2 days of [work].

Almost six hours later...

Dog Dude (11:09 PM) :
I understand that but you still owe me for last time I paid you extra
Dog Dude (11:10 PM) :
i think oyur [paycheck] would have been better if you would have [worked] this weekend
Dog Dude (11:15 PM) :
i think you went to denver and didn;t [work] like you could have

Don't even get me started on the spelling/grammar.

I swear to God. Sometimes Dave can be a total asshole. I was about to tell him to just wait until the end of the pay period, and FedEx my check. That way he wouldn't be "paying me extra", and I would still get my check in time.

Was my weekend in Denver worth this hassle? Heck yes, it was.

♥

KaiserRo11

Nic has asked me to post a video of Mr. Kaiser, so here you go...

KaiserRo11

Don't hate on him!

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Mrs. Eric Kaiser

So, I think I am in love.

His name is Geoff Kaiser, a.k.a KaiserRo11.

I "met" him on YouTube.

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I'm Sorry, Your Hour is Up

As I stated before, I was looking for a therapist, and eventually found one. I had my first appointment today.

I must say, I was itching for 3 PM to roll around. I was excited for my appointment with my new therapist. I have been in "therapy" before, but that was not very productive at all. This time, I have a therapist all to myself. And, I can actually make some sort of progress.

We started off with some New Patient paperwork, but got down to business pretty quick. She asked me how old I was, where I grew up, my relationship with my parents, and why I was seeking therapy.

I talked about what's going on in my "love life", as well as my social life. I didn't talk to much about my parents, but as we all know, everything somehow leads back to your parents.

My main concerns at the moment is my sleeping issues and my problem with emotion. She basically told me that it sounds like I have a sleeping disorder, and that I need to get a referral from my doctor for a sleep specialist. We have yet to discover the root of my emotional problems. Oh yea, and we discovered that I sleep best when I am stoned.

My next appointment is two weeks from today. I was kinda hoping for tomorrow. I wonder how many times a week my insurance will pay for me to see a therapist.

As you may be able to tell, I like my new therapist. I feel comfortable talking to her, and this about all that counts.

♥

Rain, Rain, Go Away

20 minutes ago I was sweating my ass off after five minutes outside.

10 minutes ago it started to rain.

I think it has stopped now.

Gotta love Colorado.

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Nic Before Noon

I had to drop my mom off at the airport this morning, so I decided to just come straight to Denver afterwards for the weekend.

Nic had told me to call him as I leave Longmont, so he can shower and get ready by the time I get here. I did as he asked, and I also called him as I got onto I-70 after dropping Mom off at the airport.

"Get off at Quebec, and come pick me up. Call me when you cross Alameda," Nic says to me on the phone as I am driving down I-70. Quebec and Alameda is one block from his apartment. Sometimes I wonder about him.

A couple miles from his apartment I give him a call, and the bitch is still in bed. I thought the point of calling him as I left Longmont was so he would be ready when I got here.

We should all know that Eric doesn't like to wait.

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Myspace Movie

For those who haven't seen it yet, here it is:

Satisfaction

I must say, today has been quite satisfactory in my eyes. In comparison to the past week, it was a fucking amazing day.

First of all, I talked Dave, a.k.a my boss and my mom's boyfriend, for the first time since Sunday. Sunday was when he went Joan Crawford on my ass. He was in a much better mood, to say the least.

Second, I got to sit and have coffee with my mom, and just talk. It was nice.

Third, I was able to go down to Denver earlier than planned, since Mr. Flonaise hitched a ride with Mr. Boyscout. This extra time allowed me to hang out with Mr. Anaconda, Ms. Tits, Mr. Hey Gurl, and Nic at the park and Diedrich's for a bit. Also, it gave me some time to hang out and talk with Mr. TDH. We got me some applications to fill out from some stores around Cherry Creek Mall. Yay for looking for a job in Denver!

Lastly, there was Tracks. Although it started off rather mundane, it turned into a great night. There was NO drama, and there were a few sets of songs that were pretty amazing. I don't know if there are words to describe Tracks overall tonight though. It was just fabulous. And it was just what I needed.

Well, that pretty much sums it up.

♥

Serenity

I can't sleep. This has left me with only my thoughts for the past few hours.

The only conclusion that I have come to:

I foresee a lot of change over the next few months. Not only with my life, but with myself.

Yes, change is good, but to be honest, I am kinda scared. This will be the most "dense" change I have ever experienced.

I know I sound like a broken record, but the past five days or so have been fucking intense. And what do I do when things are intense? Or anything other than normal, for that matter? I think. I feel like Winnie The Pooh. Think, think, think. I like to think I have a higher IQ than Winnie The Pooh though.

When told of any of the many events of this weekend, most of my friends think D-R-A-M-A. To an extent, they are right. Drama is life though. And life is fucking dramatic, that's for sure.

I'm kinda all over the place tonight. I think I'll try to go to sleep again.

One last thing though:

[God,] Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

♥

1-800-568-3191 (cont.)

So Dr. Drew's people at LoveLine can suck my dick.

I just got off the phone with Nic, and decided I would give LoveLine another shot. Considering what is going on right now, I deserve to get through, ask my question, and get some advice.

"LoveLine. What's your question?" asks the same douche bag as before.

I manage to get a very clear, concise question out, and what does the douche bag do? He hangs up on me!

Thank God I have a therapy appointment on Tuesday.

♥

1-800-568-3191

An hour after laying in bed, unable to sleep, I decided to turn on some music. Before I get the chance to put in a CD, I hear the voice of Dr. Drew, solving the world's problems. I decide to skip the CD, and just listen to LoveLine.

Keeping consistent with every time I listen to LoveLine, I decided to try and call in.

"LoveLine. What's your question?" asks the guy on the other end.

I actually got through! Not on my first try, mind you.

"Uh, uh," I stutter. I managed to get a half-way coherent sentence out after that, as difficult as it was.

Obviously it wasn't coherent enough. I was promptly hung up on.

I must say, it was disappointing being hung up on my first time actually getting through. It was all worth it though. Now I know that LoveLine does exist for us folks in the Denver area.

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79 and Sunny

That's the weather forecast for tomorrow here in good ol' Longmont.

The last thing I need this week is shitty weather, so maybe there is a God. Either way, I am just happy it's going to be nice.

I can almost taste summer.

♥

Say Cheese

Here are some pics from this weekend. The "No More Drama" Party on Friday, and Queer Prom '06 on Saturday. Enjoy!

It's Fucking French Toast!

I think Dave, also known as my boss and my mom's boyfriend, has gone off the deep end.

As my previous blog says, I was supposed to make my mom breakfast this morning for Mother's Day. Obviously, that didn't happen. We decided that I'd just make dinner instead.

While my mom was talking to Dave on the phone, she mentioned that I was going to cook dinner tonight. Dave went Joan Crawford on her ass. He later called me, and went Joan Crawford on my ass.

"I specifically told you that I didn't want you cooking in my house," he says.

This is true. Who in their right mind would take this seriously though?! It's not as though he was worried I might burn his house down. It's all because he does not like the smell of food in his house. Funny how he is out of town. And it's fucking French toast for God's sake.

Dude needs to get a grip, chill out, and stop being crazy, because this is making me crazy. I'd have to say this was an appropriate ending to this weekend though, considering it had to have been the most interesting weekend of my life.

Ugh. I just need to take two Ambien and go to bed. I hope Mr. TDH calls me tonight; not sure when he gets off work though. Talking to him would definitely brighten my day/night.

♥

October 16th

Your Birthdate: October 16

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head. You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking. People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right. You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself. Your strength: Your original approach to thinking Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others Your power color: Pale blue Your power symbol: Wavy line Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

So, I had to post this, because it is pretty much 100% correct. Post a comment, and let me know if you agree or not. I'd like to get some feedback from a different perspective.

♥

Happy Mother's Day!

So right now I think I feel like the worst son ever.

I had plans to come back from Denver early this morning, swing by Whole Foods on my way home, and make my mom breakfast at 10 AM.

What time did I wake up? 12:15 PM

She said she is not mad, and I already have plans to make her breakfast tomorrow morning to make up for today. This doesn't change the fact that I feel like an asshole.

I need to find a therapist.

♥

Queer Prom

I have to be honest. Queer Prom was not as good as I had expected. There were a few moments that made it worth going though.

Aside from that, I am in a fairly weird mood. I don't know why exactly, but it will pass.

Well, time to drink.

♥

No More Drama

Well, tonight has been one of the most interesting nights I have experienced in quite some time.

Not sure now is the best time to get into all the details, but they are soon to come.

♥

Water Works

Aside from all the drama and stuff going on regarding the party, I was informed of some pretty heavy stuff tonight.

It obviously affected me on a very deep level, considering I cried for the first time in over a year. And trust me, it wasn't just a tear or two. It had NOTHING to do with the alcohol either.

I hope Mr. TDH got home safely. I realized tonight that I really care about him. This isn't a usual event, and I pray I don't get hurt in the whole situation.

♥

Change Clothes

So, I am on Outfit #3 of the day. Now you know why I packed so much for my 3-day stay in Denver.

It's a shame I had to retire Outfit #2; it was so cute. All white. I know, I know... Why would I wear so much white before Memorial Day? Well, at 80+ degrees outide, it was definitly a day for some white. White shorts, white shirt, white underwear, white flip flops, white hat, white sunglasses. I should have taken a picture.

Nic and I are off to Racine's here shortly. Got to get the grub on before you get the drink on. We'll have to stop by Chrerry Creek on the way, and pay Mr. TDH a visit.

This party should be amazing. I will have pictures. The big question is, what shall I drink tonight?

♥

Rise and Shine!

I felt quite productive this morning.

I took a shower at 7:45, got dressed and ready, and went to Whole Foods for some breakfast. I love Whole Foods. Nic and I had bagels, fresh fruit, fresh squeezed orange juice, and lattes by 9:00 AM.

Two episodes of Golden Girls and a half an episode of Will & Grace later I was out. Slept for over 3 hours.

So much for having a productive morning.

♥

Pocahontas

So it's like 6:15 AM, and Nic and I have not gone to sleep yet.

We so just had the most perfect moment. If you're lucky you might hear about it.

Who am I kidding? He's so going to blog it.

♥

Drama Free! It's the Way to Be!!

According to what I've heard, many people I know have had quite the drama filled night. One in particular actually got kicked out of Tracks. I won't name any names.

I, on the other hand, had a quite the drama free night. Went to dinner and a movie with Mr. TDH, which was fun. Benny's was delicious, as usual. We saw Poseidon; it was pretty good, but really made me have to go to the bathroom. Here is a little equation to describe Poseidon:

Titanic - Drawn-Out Love Story - A Whole Bunch of Survivors
- #1 Hit Theme Song = Poseidon

After the movie, Mr. TDH and I decided to stop by Tracks, considering it was only 12:30. I managed to stay out of most, if not all, of the drama. Denver Diner was nothing out of the ordinary.

Well, Day 1 of the BIG weekend has come to end, but I am really looking forward to tomorrow night. A little liquid courage couldn't hurt.

♥

Shopping!

As I predicted, I did not deposit any of the money my mother gave me.

I decided that I deserve to go shopping, so that is what I did. I gave myself a limit of $100, so I that is all I brought with me into Cherry Creek Mall. With that, I was able to get 2 polos from Express, a pair of white flip-flops from Abercrombie, and an all-white hat from PacSun. I even have $2.29 leftover. How's that for staying under budget?

Also, I stopped by American Eagle and saw Mr. TDH. I tried applying for an in-store credit card, and obviously I was denied considering my credit history. Oh well.

I need to get to work, so my boss doesn't have an aneurysm. That should help me pass the time until Mr. Metro gets off.

♥

Saving Nemo

My good friend, Ms. Frankenstein, saved two goldfish from death today.


During her high school biology class, her teacher instructed her to poor acid onto the fish, and examine and document their bleeding. My friend could not do this. So, she put the fish in her water bottle, and carried them around school all day until she could put them in the proper vessel and feed them.

Kudos to you, Ms. Frankenstein!

♥

Helen Keller x 8

Leave it to Mom to always help me out when I need it. And I don't even have to ask.

Now I just have to make sure I put the money in my savings account, instead of going shopping.

♥

Be Prepared.

Well, I've got my bags packed, and I am ready to go.

I am set to leave Longmont around 4:00 tomorrow afternoon for my 3-day stay in Denver. All I have to do is get gas and pick up my dry cleaning.

Hopefully I don't forget anything I need. I'm pretty sure I've got my clothes covered. 10 shirts, 4 pairs of shorts, 4 pairs of underwear, 4 pairs of footwear, 3 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of socks, a belt, and a tie should be enough.

I will be sure to post details, and pictures, from the BIG weekend over the next 3-4 days, so stayed tuned!

P.S. My financial situation has been straightened out for the time being.

♥

Bills, Bills, Bills

Paying bills has to be one of the most depressing activities on the face of the planet.

According to my calculations, I will have less than $100 after I pay my bills with tomorrow's paycheck. And $100 isn't going to cut it for this weekend.

I think I am going to have to ask for an advance this week.

*Sigh*

A slight weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It wasn't necessarily a weight, but just something I had been thinking about and analyzing.

Well, now that that's settled, I am going to bed.

♥

Denver

I wish I lived in Denver. Instead, I live in this shithole known as Longmont. Don't get me wrong, I don't really have a huge problem with Longmont. I can definitly think of places far worse. It's not the town, or anything in it, that I hate; it's what's not in it.

A majority of my gay friends live in Denver, and the surrounding area. There are clubs, restaurants, parties; things to do. In Denver, it always seems there is something to do, somewhere to go. And if there isn't, there is always someone to hang out with. Living in Denver couldn't hurt my dating life either.

My goal is to move to Denver by the end of the summer. To be honest, it is not going to be easy. I have a problem with money management, to say the least. Also, I now pay my mom $300 to live at home, just to help her out; I don't just want to leave her high and dry. Lastly, I am kinda scared. It'd be a big step for me.

So, everybody cross your fingers, and hopefully I'll be living in Denver 3 months from now.

♥

Secret Single Behavior

I think it's about time for a little S.S.B. action. It's been at least 2 weeks now.

For those who don't know, I like to sit on my couch and exfoliate/moisturize my feet while I watch Sex and the City.

The big question is, what episodes shall I watch tonight?

♥

Pervert!

So Dan and I were wandering around the mall today when we noticed a small boy in the display window at Victoria's Secret. I didn't really think much of it until I saw him going back and forth between the mannequins, pulling down their underware. It was quite a sight. I tried to get a picture of him in the act, but I think I scared him away. I managed to get a pic of one of the mannequins he was molesting though.



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Blah.

This cough needs to go away. ASAP. If not, I am going to have to drink a whole bottle of cough syrup this weekend, and that ain't kosher.

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GURL!

Isn't he cute?! I am excited for Queer Prom. I am even more excited that I have such a great date.

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Dirty Jersey

Look out Jersey, here I come! It's official. My dad bought the tickets today.

Here's a little background info:

I lived in Jersey for 5 years before I moved to Colorado to live with my mom in July '03. My dad is in the Air Force, and around this time last year he moved to Virginia for work. A few weeks ago, he asked if I wanted to come out to Virginia to visit, and go down to the Outer Banks for a "Family Reunion". I agreed, on one condition. Since it has been 2 years since I have seen my friend's in Jersey, I made him buy me 2 one-way tickets. One from Denver to Philly, and one from Virginia back to Denver.

My dad and stepmom are cheap bitches, so I was shocked that they bought 2 one-way tickets and didn't even ask me to pay a portion. Now I just have to manage to survive about a week with the two of them. Wish me luck.

So yeah, I will be out of town from 7/25 til 8/8.

♥

Spellcheck

So my stepmother, not my Mom, sent me this e-mail today.

Can you please send me that diamond earning and I will give you a set that I have that are real gold put the stone is a fake but you can't tell. If you need the money to send it I will send you a check. I what to make necklace with it. My diamond from when I used to be married will be for past and your will be for the past and I need one for future. Hope everything is going good with you. Oh, I forgot to tell you I made GS-9 now.

Love,
Mom

I don't know what this bitch is smoking if she thinks I have this .5 carat diamond stud sitting in a jelewry box on my dresser. It was a birthday present like 4 years ago. Even if I did know exactly where it was, I wouldn't just give it away. I may need money to pay my rent someday. I'm actually surprised I haven't hocked it already. Probably because I have no fucking clue where it is.

♥

WTF?!

[22:36] njlibra86: going to queer prom this weekend?
[22:36] axcel_2005: yup
[22:36] axcel_2005: where at?
[22:36] njlibra86: the tivoli
[22:37] axcel_2005: kool
[22:37] njlibra86: it was a question
[22:37] njlibra86: lol
[22:37] axcel_2005: huh
[22:37] njlibra86: going to queer prom
[22:37] njlibra86: ??
[22:37] njlibra86: it's a question
[22:37] njlibra86: not a statement
[22:37] axcel_2005: oh...where at?

Some people's kids.

♥

Rx

I swear to God, my doctor would prescribe me morphine if I asked for it.

I had my doctor's appointment today at 3:00. I was there for 15 minutes. My doctor basically asked me what I wanted, printed out the prescriptions, signed them, and sent me on my way.

I think the next time I go in I am going to have back problems.

♥

Dear Diary

Is that how I am supposed to start these things?

So, Nic set me up with a blog of my very own, as I was jealous of all the fun he has with his. I have had a livejournal account in the past, and managed to post fairly regularly for a good 2 months. That was the end of that though. Let's cross our fingers, and hope this lasts longer.

There are so many things I could write about write now, but I suppose I should start with the most important.

I am really happy for the first time in a while. Simply, I think I have found my niche. And that's all I have to say about that.

♥