Fate or Coincidence? Pt. 3

It was coincidence.

Mr. Contact moved back to Virginia.

♥

Brace Yourself

I have learned a lot about Mr. Bumble over the past few days. A bit of male bonding if you will.

I have never met anyone that has been in so many "interesting" situations before.

There was the time he got fired from Wal-Mart for having sex with his boss.

There was the time he crashed into a pole, after hitting a patch of ice, while passing a cop and speeding through a school zone.

There was the time he got fired from another job, because of the aforementioned accident. He never showed up to work. Oh yeah, and he was fucking his boss' husband; his boss over at Wal-Mart.

There was the time he moved out of his apartment in the middle of the day, without any notice, because he really hated his roommate.

There was the time he lost his virginity. In the back of a Jeep. His partner's Price Albert piercing got caught in his braces.

There was the time he got fired from yet another job. He was a host at a local restaurant, and was asked to wait tables for a not. Unable to deal with the "stress," he went to the bar, got drunk, and threw up in a booth.

That's all I've got for now. I figured I better get it out there on the Blogosphere.

♥

No Ifs, Ands, or Butts

"He raped my face. I am never seeing him again."


I found Nic's car key tonight, err, this morning.

Let's just say he has been less than appreciative. He offered me a penny for finding it.

♥

The Case of the Shoe Snatcher

Well, ladies, the house has officially been christened.

Nic and I have had a little bet going on as to who will be the first to have sex in the new house.

Obviously, I won that bet.

Interesting story, really...

I was being the usual horny bastard that I am yesterday when I hopped online to see if there was anyone that might be able to help me. I found several candidates, but one in particular was exceptionally cute and eager. We'll call him Mr. Gherkin. That should be pretty self-explanatory.

I invited him over, and he accepted my invitation. Not before letting me in on a little piece of information, though. Information about a sort of fetish he has.

He likes to wear other people's shoes. A bit weird, I know.

I assessed the situation and determined that it was fairly harmless. I extended my offer once again for him to come over, and he accepted once again. 30-45 minutes later he showed up at my front door.

I showed him up to my room, and he immediately ripped my pants off and dropped to his knees. A boy that knows how to please! Several minutes into it, I heard the garage door opening; Mr. Anaconda was home. I shrugged my shoulders and gave him my 'Why are you stopping?' look.

Moments before cumming, Mr. Anaconda was on his way out again.

After I was all done, I collapsed on my bed for a few moments. That's when he did opened his mouth. I really hate when they do that. As Mr. Bumble says, "Shhh!"

After throwing a load of laundry in the washer and drinking a bottle of water, I was ready for business. Long story short, I fucked him.

I couldn't help but wonder though, was he staring at my black Steve Madden's the whole time?

♥

The Day of the Lord with Tara and Mary

Last night was another adventure. So much so that I only remember bits and pieces.

First of all, Nic got trashed. At like 4 PM.

Then, Mr. Bumble and I got baked. And got really hungry.

So... We all went to Benny's and ate. Well, Nic ate some, then threw up, then ate a little more, followed by a little more throwing up, and then ate some flan. And then he probably threw up. I don't remember.

On the way home, I think we stopped for some Dairy Queen, and then Mr. Anaconda dropped Mr. Bumble and I off at Wal-Mart. We got some gummy bears, gum, matches, and cigarettes. Then we walked home.

Apparently, Mr. Bumble gets scared when he smokes. Paranoid and jumpy and sometimes hallucinogenic. The whole way home from Wal-Mart, he was freaking out about getting murdered, raped, pillaged, or arrested.

After getting home and watching Carrie, we drove to the light rail and went back to his beautiful downtown apartment. We smoked a little more, watched an episode of Fat Actress, and fell asleep.

And that was my Sunday.

♥

Whine and Cheese

So I think I may have a psuedo stalker. And it's all Nic's fault.

Not too long ago, our good friends Mr. EuroTrash and Mr. Flonaise threw a house-warming party. All the BFFs were there: Ms. Cunt - which means Goddess - and her man Mr. 40, Mr. BeefCake, Mr. Molester, and several others. I had invited Mr. JWU; partly because I wanted to have someone to smoke with, and partly to see how Pocahontas and Juan Smith would react. More on them later.

Shortly after I arrived, so did Nic. With his date, Mr. ASL.

I was not feeling that great, and was eager to smoke, so Mr. JWU and I left. I took him to his car, stopped for some smokes, and headed to my house with Mr. JWU following. We arrived shortly thereafter and smoked it up.

When I smoke, I get horny. And usually, I act on that feeling. This was no exception. Mr. JWU and I laid together on the couch and watched Sex and the City. We continued with some making out and all that the stuff.

The night ended after he gave me head and I passed out. I hope he wasn't expecting to get off too, because I can be a selfish bitch when I am high.

I woke up to find him downstairs on the couch. It was a bit of a shock to see him here; I had kinda expected him to be gone when I woke up. Oh well... Can't win 'em all.

I went outside to have my ritual morning cigarette, and was joined by Nic only moments later. I finished my cigarette as he lit his "Marlby 27" and gave me the scoop on the previous nights events that I had missed. Apparently, Mr. Homosexuality had made his way around the room, if you know what I mean. Also, he and Mr. ASL didn't end there night til about 4 AM.

Oh yea, Mr. ASL was sleeping in Nic's room as we spoke.

Hours later, or so it seemed, Mr. JWU had left and Mr. ASL had finally gotten his ass out of Nic's bed. With some time and encouragement, we managed to get him out of the house too.

Now, over a week later, I am getting IMs from Mr. ASL nearly every time I hop on the Gaytabase. Sometimes I talk to him, sometimes I don't. More frequently, the latter.

Normally I wouldn't have a problem with this, but all he does is hit on me and complain about his life. It's really annoying, to say the least.

Pretty soon Mr. Nice Guy is going to have to be a little less nice and block his whining ass.

♥

Law & Order

Thursday morning the boys and I left the house at 7:15 AM. Why such an ungodly hour, you ask?

Mr. Anaconda had to go to court for disturbing the peace, and Nic and I were his witnesses. Witnesses to the fact that he did no such disturbing of the peace. We sat there for quite some time before it was our turn.

In the meantime, we observed out surroundings. We gave the bitchy prosecutor a new name, Vanessa. We made fun of her shoes, and all the bitchy things she did or said. We made fun of all the people in the courtroom, for that matter, and listened to all their sad stories of breaking the law.

Then, Trevor walked in. And everything was brighter. We didn't talk at all, but I know there was an unspoken connection between us. I wrote him a little diddy on Craigslist, but have yet to recieve a response.

Finally, they go to our case, and all us witnesses were kicked out of the courtroom for the time being. In the meantime, we talked shit about Vanessa.

Minutes later, Mr. Anaconda emerged from the courtroom. The case was dismissed.

Obviously, the city didn't have a very good case, and Vanessa is a slutty bitch that needs to die in a fire.

And that is how I spent my Thursday morning.

♥

'I'm Losing My Buzz'

Bitch in the middle is crazy.

Here I am at Diedrich's, minding my own business, when this fucked up chick asks me if I have a cell phone she could use.

She had a cell phone sticking half-way out of her pocket, but my phone was sitting right in front of me on the table.

I couldn't do anything except let her use it. What was I supposed to do, tell her it was a Gameboy?

Several minutes later, the stumbling crack whore was still on the fucking phone.

Apparently she needed cab 166 to meet her at the corner of 9th and Downing. She left something in the cab. Her name is Angie, or is it Angelinan and she was paying with cash.

"I don't have a ton of minutes for you to waste," I say.

She finally hangs up, kinda drops my phone into my hand, thanks me, and stumbles off.

Where is a can of Lysol when you need it?

Where Will You Be In 10 Years?

NIC: What is your love life like?

ME: Well, I am going on three years with the man of my dreams. He is 6'2"-6"3" with a medium, muscular build, but not quite chiseled. He has short black hair, and very dark, mysterious eyes. Also, he has a very chiseled face with a perfect, vibrant white-but-not-too-white smile. He's very rough; he has a 'sleeve' on his right arm, and has many other tattoos all over his body. He has 8 piercings in all; both nipples, nose, eyebrow, tongue, tragus, and one in each earlobe. He is 25 years old, but his birthday is February 19th, the same as my mother's and just around the corner, so he will be 26. He's an actor, and is also the manager of a cute little cafe down the street. He has a good relationship with his family, including his father. His mother fucking loves me! Lastly, we have two dogs. He has a male Black Lab named Tasha, and I have a male black and tan Long-Haired Chihuahua named Beau. They are both gay. Duh!


By the way, he is 8.5" uncut, and about 80% bottom.

♥

Next

As many of you know, I have many great loves in my life.

Formally, it has ben Geoff Kaiser, a.k.a. Kaiserro11. He has not posted a good video in quite some time, aside from his tumbling video. We have just lost our spark; that "je ne sais quoi."

But, in Mr. Nice Guy fashion, I have moved on.

His name is Aidan Shaw, a.k.a. Carrie's ex-boyfriend in Sex and the City.



I know, I know... It is probably not the best idea to have a love affair with a fictional character, but he is so dreamy.

So, if any of my readers bare a striking resemblence to Mr. Aidan Shaw, let me know.

By the way, I don't want John Corbett, I want Aidan Shaw. I don't know anything about John Corbett, and I know just about everything Aidan Shaw.

We have history.

♥

Third Law of [E]Motion

For the most part, I have spent the last 36 hours sleeping or just laying around the house.

The rain has been a really good excuse. That, and "excessive drug use."

Seriously though, I hate being depressed. And I hate that "depressed" is the only word that I can think of to describe how I am feeling.

Life, recently, has been a series of highs and lows, and I am not a fan of extremes.

"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

Sometimes I think I would rather have a life of mediocrity, than a life of extreme highs and extreme lows. Then again, I seem to think otherwise when I caught up in one of those extreme highs.

It's all relative. When it comes down to it, everything is relative.

That's just my little ol' theory though.

♥

[Blow] Your Mind

Matty's birthday went off without a hitch. Well, not exactly.

I picked him up from work on Tuesday night, and spent the night at his place with Ms. Business. He got new Egyptian cotton sheets, and they are uber comfy.

When we finally made it down to Denver yesterday, we went to Rave's, Diedrich's, and then to my place. I bought him some school supplies, and we searched for a tiara, to no avail.

Then the hunt began. And it didn't end til about six hours later. It was worth it though. Hanging out with Kate is fun!

Matty said that this has been his best birthday yet, and that makes me happy. I am glad that I could contribute to that. I only wish I could have done more though.

Now I am just laying on the couch listening to music. I have been for about two hours now.

I should start getting ready to hang out with Mary and go to Tracks.

♥

Fate or Coincidence? Pt. 2

Shortly after arriving home, back in Colorado, I found Mr. Contact on Myspace. And his ex, too.

Mr. Contact and I have exchanged several messages through Myspace and spoke a few times on the phone since I have been back. All was good and well.

Then, I got a message from the ex. It was nothing too exciting, but definitely very confusing.

HIM:
Hey man whats up ???? Im Eric, Eugenes boyfriend. He told me that he met you at Ambush. Anyways just thought I would say hi. Eugenes said that you could give him a ride from the airport. If you can that would be great cause i cant drive. Anyways just let me know maybe we can get together and go if you want i can pay for the gas. Let me know man later . eric


ME:
Yea, I am able to pick him up from the airport. Not a problem.

I thought that Eugene is your ex, and that you have a boyfriend here... no?


HIM:
Um no !!! lol Eugene didnt tell you that he was coming here for us to be together???? Anyways well why dont you keep in touch and i can meet you at the airport that nite to get him ???? My ex is going to drop me off there at three so then if you dont mind we can ride back with you !!!! Let me know man -Eric

WTF!? I promptly called Mr. Contact.

Apparently everyone is not on the same page. I was under the impression that Mr. Contact was moving out here for a change, and was just going to be staying with his ex, as friends. The ex seems to think that Mr. Contact is "coming here for [them] to be together."

Sounds like a situation straight from The Young and the Restless.

Mr. Contact has assured me that he is not moving out here to rekindle the relationship with his ex. Who the hell knows, though?

Long story short: I am going to approach this as strictly a friendship, and just see what happens. That's really all I can do.

I would really like to retire from the Just Friends League.

♥

Fate or Coincidence? Pt.1

As you know, I just returned from a two week vacation to the east coast. I was in New Jersey for three days, then Virginia for two days, North Carolina for five, and back to Virginia for four days.

The trip went much better than I had expected, which was a huge relief.

The highlight of my trip had to have been the last few days I was in Virginia. I decided to check out the local nightlife, and wound up at Klub Ambush. Yes, that is how they actually spell it.

I wasn't sure I had arrived at the correct address when I pulled up to a slightly disheveled shopping center. Then I saw it. Wedged between a laundry mat and a thrift store was Klub Ambush. I immediately had to call someone back home to tell all about it. After a couple of minutes on the phone with Matty, I headed in.

Once inside, I started to realize something. Ambush looks just like Static. I am sure that anyone that has seen both would agree. There was one big difference though. NO ONE was dancing. Apparently the fags in VA don't dance.

To be completely honest, I wasn't having much fun, aside from being able to smoke inside. I didn't know a soul. I felt alone. It was like a flashback to my first days at Dream before I knew anyone. I had a Red Bull, chain-smoked, and people-watched.

Then, a boy came up to me and asked me for a light. And told me I was really cute. And suddenly I felt better. I didn't feel so alone.

Mr. Don't Ask, Don't Tell and I chatted for a bit. I told him that I was just visiting from the great state of Colorado. That's when he told me about Mr. Contact. You see, Mr. Contact was moving out to Denver a mere six days after I went home. Mr. DADT tried to arrange an introduction with Mr. Contact, but it never materialized by the end of the night. I wasn't too concerned.

The next day, bored at my parents' house, I was surfing around online with what little internet connection I had. I was browsing the local boys when I came across this little hottie. Upon further inspection, I realized that this hottie was Mr. Contact.

We chatted for a bit and decided to meet up at Ambush the next night and hang out. And that is exactly what we did. When the club was starting to kick everyone out, we decided to hang out together for a while longer, so we went for a drive. After stopping by to see a friend of his we went back to his place. When it came time for me to go, he walked me out to my car. He wanted to see me again before I left, and the feeling was definitely mutual, so we made tentative plans to hang out the next night.

18 hours later I pulled up to his house again.

After some debating, we decided to go to a haunted house down by the oceanfront. I was a little hesitant, considering I am a bit of a pussy when it comes to that kind of stuff. Mr. Contact managed to convince me though. Maybe because he is so fucking cute.

We went to Ambush for about an hour after that, and then back to his place where we watched What's Love Got To Do With It. It made me cringe on many occasions. Then we started to watch Jeepers Creepers.

As time went by, we moved closer and closer to each other. We cuddled. We kissed. We made-out. I didn't want to leave. It was really very.

Four hours later I was flying back to Colorado.

♥

Back in Black

I'm back!

Sorry for the lapse in blogs, but I just returned home on Tuesday from a two week vacation. Didn't have many opportunities to do it, considering I almost never had substantial internet.

The past three days have been filled with moving stuff to the new house, hanging out with friends, and settling in. Almost finished!

Originally I had intended on blogging a whole bunch, all about my trip to the east coast. Instead, I am going to keep it fairly minimal.

I am so glad to be back. Expect more frequent blogs now that I have a reliable internet source and the time to do it.

♥

Soulmates

I am sitting here watching Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List.

Kathy is sitting at the table with her parents eating dinner.

They are drinking Ecco Domani Pinot Grigio.










The exact same wine I was drinking a mere two or three days ago.

Cheers to Kathy, and our $10 bottle of wine.

♥