House Hunters

Nic, Mr. Anaconda, and I looked at houses all over Denver today. It was quite fun.

We were interested in three of the houses that we saw, but one of them is pretty much already taken.

It was tough deciding between the two others, but we can to a unanymous decision.

Now we just have to submit our applications, and wait to be approved. I don't forsee anything going wrong in that department.

Here's hoping that the rest of the process goes smoothly.

♥

Sex and the City: Denver

Sometimes I don't give Nic enough credit.

Tonight he came up with a pretty fabulous idea. He proposed that he, Mr. Anaconda, Matty, and I be the girls of Sex and the City for Halloween.

Cast, as follows:

Nic as Carrie
Mr. Anaconda as Charlotte
Matty as Samantha
Me as Miranda

At first I wasn't terribly keen on the idea. Then, after a moment, it started to grow on me.

So, watch out Denver! In four months time there will be four new bitches in town.

♥

Hallelujah!

Well, it has been confirmed. There is a God.

I came to this realization earler today when I was dealing my finances. Being the financially responsibe person that I am, I was checking my credit cards to make sure that I didn't go over the limit, and to see if I needed to make any payments.

When I came to my Capital One account, I was pleasantly surprised. Instead of the expected $3.00 of available credit, I had $303.00 of available credit.

Any "normal" person would smile and save it for a rainy day. I am not a normal person though.

So, what did I do with my newfound $300? I bought myself a Motorola Q. It's absolutely beautiful, and you know you're jealous.

My new number is (720)684-7668. Call me!

Keep in mind though, I still have my old phone and phone number. You can reach me at either number.

So, in conclusion, praise the Credit Limit Increase God.

♥

The Heat Is On

Well, the whole looking for an apartment/house is finally coming along.

Nic, Mr. Anaconda, and I have all done our part to find at least one suitable place to live.

On Friday, we have four "appointments" to check out places. Maybe even five.

I am so happy that the ball is finally rolling on this. I am even more excited to check these places out, and maybe even find the place I will be living for at least the next year.

♥

"Inner beauty?! What's that?"

I watched Strangers with Candy for the first time tonight.

Not bad. Not bad at all.

Normally, I would have changed the channel, but I heard that my personal hero, Stephen Colbert, was in it.

Yay for TV shows that make fun of people, and have profanity.

♥

FOX5: Special Report

You have to love it when someone falls and eats shit.



Cheating bitch deserved it though.

I don't know whether the sound she makes is the best or worst part. She sounds like a seal that's being clubbed to death. Oh well.

I hope it was worth it.

♥

Top 20

I am so over having a Top 4.

Therefore, I now have a Top 20.

Expect a Top 24 by the end of the summer.

Also, expect a complete overhaul on my Myspace page in the next week. Actually, don't expect it; just hope for it.

♥

Cherry on Top

Tonight was pretty much what I needed, and it was only 24 hours after I had hoped on getting it.

Hey, dont mean to bug u but r u interested in 2nite?

I received this text message at about nine o'clock tonight. It was from a boy, or should I say man, that I got with once a little while back. Between then and today, he had contacted me about three times to get together again. Tonight I took the bait.

I hopped in the shower, got myself all cute, and headed out the door to drive to Boulder. Five minutes into the trip, I realized that I didn't have my cell phone, so I had to turn around and get it, since I didn't have complete directions. 15 minutes after my original arrival time, I pulled up to his place.

We exchanged greetings, and he showed me down to the living room. Before he sat down though, he went over to a window that looked into the living room, and pulled the blinds down as far as they would go. He then joined me on the couch. He didn't have any gay porn, being bi and all, so he put in a DVD called "Creamed."

"So, you've never been with a girl," he asks disappointedly as some chick is fingering her twat in the porn.

"No, I have not," I say as I try to avoid looking directly at this bitch's flapping lips.

What is it with bisexuals? Do they think that switch-hitting is normal behavior? Do they think that since they like their dick in some chick's vagina just as much as they like someone else's dick in their ass, that I should too?

Anyway, five minutes into this thing, the guy gets up, pulls up his shorts, and runs over to the aforementioned window. Apparently, he was uncomfortable with the 1/2 inch gap between the windowsill and the bottom on the blinds. Unfortunately for him, the blinds wouldn't go down any further; I was afraid he was going to call the whole thing off. Dude was acting like a tweaker that lived next-door to the Boulder PD precinct.

When he finally returned from checking all the windows, we got down to business. I'll spare all the juicy details, but I will tell you this... He wasn't too bad. I'd give him a 7 at giving head, and he was pretty good bottom. All in all, 3 1/2 stars.

After I cleaned myself up in the bathroom, I left. Well, not until Mr. Paranoia peeked through the window to make sure there was no one outside. When everything was all-clear, I walked back to my car, lit up a cigarette, called Nic, and headed home.

Moral of Story: There is a price to be paid for being able to fuck an attractive, masculine, bisexual man.

♥

Pridefest 2006

Pride weekend was great. I can confidently say that this was my best Pride ever.

Saturday night, we threw a little Pride party at Mr. Anaconda's mom's place. She played bouncer. Mr. Anaconda played host. It seemed as though about 40 people showed up, maybe more.

As far as I remember, it was an awesome party. I had a forty of Bud Light and a six-pack of Corona, and passed out in the backyard around 1:30 AM. In the next hour, Mr. Flonaise made out with one boy and gave head to another, Nic and Mr. Anaconda went to Jerusalem's and had a little car trouble, and everyone else had left. Except for Matty. When I woke up, we went to my car and slept. Not so comfortable.

Pride Sunday was pretty good too. I even got to see Mary J. Blige. And three of the new Real World Denver peeps. The gay one is pretty cute. Not many more details than that though; Pride is Pride.

I didn't get laid though. Maybe Mr. Str8boy will come over this week though.

♥

Lost Pride

I have to admit, the Pride party at Tracks tonight was quite phenomenal.

The music was pretty damn good, the decorations were festive, the place was fucking packed. Most of all though, Pride was in the air. It seems as though everyone managed to put most of their drama aside, and just have a good time. And for that, I am extremely grateful.

If tonight was any indication to how the rest of the weekend will be, this is going to be one hell of a Pride.

♥

Caught Green-Handed

My mom came over this morning.

I left her in the living room, and went into my bedroom to finish getting ready.

"What is this?!" she shouts as I spray some cologne.

"Is this pot?!"

She was expecting my Eclipse mint tin to be full of wintergreen mints.

She got more than she bargained for.

Sorry, Mom.

♥

Hello, My Name Is... Fabulous

Leave it to Sex and the City to capture my life at the moment in a 30-minute episode.

The Reader's Digest version of the episode might go something like this:

Carrie runs into Natasha, who recently married Big, Carrie's ex.

Charlotte is self-conscious about herself, exclaiming how she hates her thighs.

Carrie plans on attending a function that Natasha is hosting, all the while planning on looking absolutely fabulous.

Charlotte tells Carrie how wonderful she is, and that she doesn't have to spend thousands on a dress and shoes to look good for Natasha.

Dressing to impress, and compliments... A Gay's favorite things.


As many know, I am the kind of person that could spend hours picking out an outfit and getting ready. All in an effort to look great. Not all that different from Carrie. Nic can verify this, as I have this conversation with him before Tracks every week. Especially the past few weeks.

"I would prefer to look amazing, but not like I'm trying amazing, just... effortlessly striking." -Carrie to Samantha

Why do we feel as though we have to spend so much extra time primping, just so that we can impress a certain someone?


Even through her own self-conscious crisis, Charlotte manages to throw a few words of praise in Carrie's direction. Not all that different from Momma throwing some words of praise my way.

"You are stunning and intelligent and funny... You could go to that luncheon* wearing what you're wearing right now, and still be the most incredible woman in the room." -Charlotte to Carrie

Why is it so easy for us to dish out the praise to others, yet so hard for us to dish it out to ourselves?


*The use of the word luncheon was not of my own volition. I felt as though I must properly quote Charlotte. Nic, I expect a comment.

♥

Wash & Dry

There is nothing more gratifying than a closet full of clean, color-coordinated clothes. It's too bad this event occurs less often than a solar eclipse.

♥

Ode to Me

If I cried, I would have when I read this little beauty. Thanks, Momma, for such a wonderful testimonial of sorts. It's about time someone make such an effort to glorify me.

Oh, Daddy.

My best friend is an introspective genius. He has a way of inordinately thinking about things but still maintaining a sane-ness to him that I could never pull off. He is articulate and appreciates grammar and proper spelling like I do. He is a place to set your thoughts, wins-and-woes, and aspirations without judgment. He is blunt, but savvy in giving you his feedback. He has a breezy way of making your day just *that* much more better. He has a heart unmatched by anyone. Giving and helping are his aptitude.

He is beautiful in the way that people envy. His natural charm and charisma are radiant. When he laughs- his entire face tells you that he is captivated and adoring that he has a reason to laugh. His smile is timeless- like that of the famous Frank Sinatra smirk. His eyes are always hiding something; yet they don't beg to be questioned.

He is a dreamer. He has goals hung all over the corners of his brain- and goddammit (!) they are going to be made a reality some day! His visions are born out of a place of hope and desire, but when accomplished they are concrete and unyielding. His spoken thoughts ask you to flirt with them as well; he makes you a dreamer too.

I envy him. I admire him. I am his biggest cheerleader. He has aided me in times of tears. He always has the perfect remedy for whatever one might need. Sometimes it involves pomegranate juice and hug. He has also been my partner in crime in happier times. Yelling at ambulance drivers and claiming that retards are teh suck at pottery comes to mind....I am forever grateful to him. I feel like I could never tell him or thank him enough for his altruism.

I love you.

♥

"You must be worth a million bucks..."

I have a new favorite show.











It's pretty much amazing.

♥

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

This chick kinda annoys the fuck out of me.



Oh yeah, Nic... Mary Poppins was not a pedophile.

Karma

As many say, karma's a bitch. I certainly learned that over the past few weeks.

You see, about eight or nine months ago, a boy was interested in me. The reason why is beyond me. I'll call him Mr. Last Nerve.

Mr. Last Nerve was really good at irritating me. Just about everything he did got on my nerves: Poor spelling and grammar. Inability to think for himself. Completely insecure.

Don't get me wrong, he was pretty cute, and he has to have the most perfect dick I've ever seen. He just seemed to rub me the wrong way. In every aspect. All the time.

After a couple weeks of "courting", I knew that this was going to go nowhere. I didn't want to hurt him, so I told him that I didn't want to be in a relationship right now. That I couldn't.

Not so long ago I was put a similar situation, except with reverse roles.

I liked a boy, and I thought that he might like me too. We did things that would lead anyone to believe that we were dating. We weren't dating though. A couple weeks into not-dating, the topic of our "future" was brought up.

He didn't want to be in a relationship right now.

I appreciated his honesty. I appreciated that he told me this early on, before I became too attached. He said he didn't want to hurt me. I believed him.

For some reason I thought he was different. For some reason I couldn't see through his 'I don't want to be in a relationship' bullshit. And for some reason I thought that with a little time we would be dating.

That's not the case though.

As time went by, I was demoted from potential boyfriend to just friends. All the while, Mr. Chef Boyardee was being promoted from friend to fuck, and as far as I know, they are dating now. Essentially Mr. Chef Boyardee and I switched places.

I believe that everything happens for a reason though. Apparently, Mr. TDH and I were not meant for each other.

Either that, or karma fucked me good.

♥

Top 8

I thought that is was about time for me to update my Top 8, so that is exactly what I did. Although, when I was trying to think of whom I wanted in my Top 8 and where to put them, I was at a loss.

To be perfectly honest, I cannot think of eight people that I want to put in my Top 8. As a result, I now have a Top 4.

Congrats to those you who made the cut.

♥

Marlboro Man

There can't be anything more annoying than having a cigarette but nothing to light it with, and vice versa.

♥

Supermodel

I got my hair cut today.

I brought Matty along with me since he stayed over last night. I swear, that boy knows everyone. No matter where we go or what we are doing, he manages to run into someone he knows.

Just as my stylist was finishing up with my hair, another stylist asked Matty if he wanted to model in an expo this weekend. As Ken. As in Ken & Barbie.

I want to be someone's Ken.

♥

Tangerine III

It's close to midnight on a Thursday night, and I am NOT at Tracks.

Instead, I am at home doing laundry. On top of that, I am watching Roseanne, and thinking of lighting up.

The funny thing is, I am perfectly content with my decision.

♥

Bombs Away

Mr. TDH is getting laid.

The other night he called me, and invited me last-minute to go to the Ashlee Simpson concert. I raced home, showered, and sped down to Denver to go with him. After the concert, we met up with Mr. Anaconda at Denver Diner, and eventually Nic met up with us.

To make a long story short, Nic and I went to go get Matty after we left the Diner. When we got back to Denver we met up with Mr. Anaconda and Mr. TDH at Starbucks. The five of us got coffee, talked, laughed, took pictures, etc. Everything was great.

All of a sudden, someone brought up the fact that Mr. Anaconda hasn't gotten laid in over a year. By choice, of course. Then, without hesitation, Mr. TDH blurts out that it has only been a week for him. And it was with a "regular".

I had my ideas of whom this "regular" is, and sure enough I was right. It was later confirmed by one of my sources. I can't help but wonder though, how long has this been going on?

Now I know why Mr. TDH didn't want to be in a relationship right now. Apparently he wanted to continue to test Mr. Chef Boyardee's waters.

There is a positive side to this all though. Now I don't feel so bad about my little party of two with Mr. Str8Boy a couple weeks ago.

♥

... Friends

Well, it's about 4:30 AM, and just about everyone has gone to sleep.

I don't know why I haven't gone to sleep. I wish I could. My mind is racing. My mind is always racing. Always thinking, analyzing, planning, sorting, etc.

The past few days have not really been a whole lot different than the past few weeks. I come down to Denver every Thursday. I stay in Denver for the weekend if I can. And every weekend I stay in Denver, I manage to become involved in some sort of drama. Usually not directly, but it manages to take some form.

Tonight, for example, was fairly dramatic. "Big Red" got trashed, and I took care of her for the most part. To be honest, I am pretty worried about her. I noticed some fairly serious issues, and it concerns me. I know she has some issues, and I know that they are pretty serious ones. I just hope that she can get some help if/when she needs it.

I tend to forget how much effort goes into taking care of someone who's drunk, until I have to do it again. A big "Thanks!" goes out to all of those of you who have taken care of me. Momma and Nic are the two that come to mind. I love you!

Also, Nic seems to be having some familial conflict. We all have it, and we all seem to get through it, but I know that there were certain events tonight that hurt him. I completely empathize with him though.

Aside from all the Pueblo drama tonight, I have also been thinking about Mr. TDH and I, and how Nic and Mr. Anaconda are in similar situations. For the past few weeks, I have been telling myself to just stop trying, and let things happen. It really isn't that easy though. Mr. Anaconda blogged tonight, and I agree with most everything he said.

So now I turn in my mind to wondering about the situation more than a couple of us have found ourselves in. The situation can be summed up as two people liking one and other, but there being an external reason for why one can't be with the other. Maybe it is a fear of messing up in the future and loosing that person forever, maybe it is a circumstance where the other person feels that to much is being expected and asked of them, it could even be that they just aren't ready to commit to one person and maybe never will be. I think about all of these things and it makes me want to talk, to figure out, to explore if there is a way to bring these issues into an arena that would cancel them out like reciprical fractions.

Mr. Anaconda and I are very similiar when it comes to the whole "want to talk, to figure out, to explore" thing. I think it's just because we appreciate 100% honesty, and we need some sort of closure. An ending. A result. Something.

Over the past few days, I have done some thinking about Mr. TDH and I. I have thought about the dynamic between us, our conversations, his coversations with others, etc. After hearing everything, I have come to the conclusion, that for the time being, I can not see him as often as in the past.

In the beginning, we would chat every so often online. Then I started meeting up with him at the club. Not too much later, we were going on "dates". Lunches, dinners, movies, clubs, parties, shopping, etc. To a normal person, this would appear to be dating. Minus any sort of intimate contact; and no, I don't mean sex. With any other boy, I may have lost interest. Not with him though. There's something special about him.

On top of everything else, I heard from a source that Mr. TDH is basically "all or nothing". He is either in a committed relationship, or he is 100% asexual. I don't know how much I believe that, but that's beside the point. Apparently, he can't decide between being single or being in a relationship with me. At first I was flattered. The mere idea of possibly dating him made me happy. Then I started to think about it some more, and I was not so flattered. I thought about what I would do if I was in his shoes, and the decision was pretty fucking simple.

I must move on. I plan on keeping Mr. TDH as a friend, and would be devestated if I ever lost him as that for any reason. I need some boundaries though. I need to see him no more than I see my other friends. I need to dance with him like I dance with my other friends. I need to do "friend" things with him; preferably group things. I am not being this way to be hurtful, or to be a bitch, or for any other reason than to protect myself. I know that if we were to continue the way we were, I could potentially be crushed in the end.

Nic is "setting me up" with some guy from Fort Collins tonight, I believe. I don't know exactly how I feel about that. I am not fond of being set up in general, but especially at the club, in my current situation. Here's hoping nothing tragic happens tonight.

Summer is here, and I am fucking ready for it. The sun, the fun. The noise, the boys. I need to kick the flirting into high gear, and find myself a summer fling. Oh yeah, and get drunk!

15 days til Pride!

♥

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Nic swears up and down that he has NEVER called his iPod the Pink Hornet.

I think I would know. After all, I have read every single one of his blogs within the past month or so

Subject: hi

I was surfing the net tonight, and got this message through Myspace.

Hey Mr. Nice guy. How are things going with you. Things suck for me because I am so lonely in life. Other than that I am doing good. Tell me a little about you

I don't want to sound mean, but who the fuck sends a message like this to a complete stranger.

Some people's kids.

♥

Tribute to Me

Kaiserro11 posted a new video today. It's basically a tribute to all his fans/subscribers. He put everyone's name on little pieces of paper, and taped them all over himself and a girl that I assume is his sister.














You may not be able to see it all that clearly, but that is definitly me, iheartkaiserro11. And where did he put me? On the front of his hat!
Here's the whole video, in case you want to check it out in it's entirety.




He even has a video of mine featured. You can see Mr. Hey Gurl at three minutes and 25 seconds.

♥

Frat Divas

I was YouTubing and chatting online with a friend earlier, and he told me about these boys. I guess Texas isn't all bad.



I'll take the boy in the gray shorts.

♥

Greg ≠ Enemy

It seems as though a 3 year "feud" has come to an end. Gotta love closure.

On 6/2/2006 at 4:20 AM Eric wrote:
I think it's about time you put an end to your childish antics.
--------
On 6/2/2006 at 3:19 PM Greg wrote:
what the hell is that suppose to mean?!
--------
On 6/2/2006 at 5:46 PM Eric wrote:
Your friend "accidentally" crashing into me in the restroom last night. Planting yourself next to me all over the club the past few weeks. The dirty looks.

Aside from that, I have nothing against you. I'm not saying we have to be friends, but there is no point in being enemies.
--------
On 6/3/2006 at 3:06 PM Greg wrote:
ok. Well the friend thing was totally Jessicas deal because she knows that you and I dont get along. She has known that ever since high school. I didnt place her next to you to crash into you. I appologize for that, but she was really wasted, and was prolly trying to piss you off.
I did however accidently bump into you last night, I think we both did actually. That was not on purpose either.
I have nothing against you Eric, and dont look at you as an enemy, but your body language and facial expressions state that you have an issue with me, and thats your own deal.
--------
On 6/3/2006 at 4:36 PM Greg wrote:
Yes, bumping into each other was accidental on both our parts last night. Again, I appologize.

The only issue I have ever had with you is you having an issue with me, and since you have nothing against me than I have nothing against you.

I just thought it was time that we address this, considering we frequent the same clubs and all. I will tell my friends that we have resolved any issues there may have been, and I would appreciate if you'd do the same.

Feel free to say hi the next time you see me.

Looks like you won't have to throw a drink in anyone's face now, Nic. So behave!

♥

Trapped in Purgatory

Mr. TDH and I had another little conversation.

The details are not all that important, but it seems we are on the same page again. Basically, we are just friends, and I need to disregard anything that may lead me to think otherwise.

The funny thing is, I have never had so many people refer to him as "my boy" or my boyfriend or any other term for a significant other you may think of. It seems as though everyone thinks we are dating, or that we should be. Everyone except for Mr. TDH that is.

Time will tell, I suppose.

♥

Coming Around

Things are looking up regarding the whole Dave situation.

Friday mornings I have to be at his house by 5 AM to watch his granddaughter, and take her to daycare. I am not terribly fond of this whole ordeal. Not only did he give me Friday morning off this week, but he also bought me a shirt from the Buckle. For no reason. Not all that usual.

In addition to that, he has been quite congenial, and has even asked how the job search is going. Here's hoping we continue down this path, and he keeps me employed til mid-July.

♥

Wish List

Fuck Nic and his Treo. Someone buy me a Motorola Q. Thanks!

♥