R.I.P.

I must start this off with a little disclaimer of sorts:

I have issues. People that know me, know that I have issues. I almost never cry, and I lack any extreme emotion, whether it be excitement or sadness. I am seeing a therapist, and maybe someday I will be "normal".

With that said, here I go.

Wednesday night I took Ambien to try to get to bed at a decent time. When I take Ambien, I have problems remembering things that happen before I actually wake up, get out of bed, and get going. Specifically, I have problems distinguishing between reality and dreams.

I woke up at 11 AM when my mom called me. I got up and out of bed, got ready, and went to work. Later that day, I was sitting at Caffe Luna with Momma, doing the crossword puzzle, when something hit me.

"I think my great grandma died," I say in a daze.

Of course, everyone at the table is severely confused by my statement. Who says something like that?

"If my stepmom called me, then my great grandma died. If she didn't, then it was just a dream."

I look through the call log on my phone, and sure enough, my stepmom had called.

You see, my stepmom called me at 8:30 that morning. Surprisingly, I actually woke up, got out of bed, and answered my phone. I don't really remember the conversation, due to the Ambien. I do remember her telling me that my great grandma had passed away though.

I think I am going to have plenty to talk about with my therapist next week.

Am I a horrible person? Don't answer that.

♥